'I only have one simple request': 21-year-old girlfriend's plea to keep her cat inside sparks a feline family feud with boyfriend and his mom over boundaries and responsibility

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
May 15, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

This cat mom just wants one thing: keep her kitty inside! After rescuing a tiny kitten from her job's parking lot, this 21-year-old thought she was doing the responsible thing by finding him a foster home with her boyfriend. But the situation quickly turned into a furmily affair. Her boyfriend's mom fell in love with the cat, and now he's living in a house with four cats total.

Despite paying for all his vet bills, food, toys, and even tracking devices, this dedicated hooman can't get one simple request respected: do not let him outside. She's not against accidents, she gets it, but the constant messages like "can't find him!" or full-on photos of him frolicking outside are wearing her down. And apparently, asking for this boundary is too much.

Now the cat community is weighing in. Many agree that setting this boundary is more than fair.

The real kicker? Some folks are saying he's not even her cat. But she's the one doing the feeding, the vet runs, the cuddling, and the worry. The only thing she isn't doing is opening the door.

She's not trying to be catty—she just wants her boy safe. Is that so pawsitively unreasonable?

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10505678080
    via By snowflock / Canva

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (21F) have a cat, I found him in my job's parking lot last year around August. I was unable to keep him at home so I asked my boyfriend (20M) if they would like a cat. They declined so I intended to give him to my coworker. My boyfriend and I didn't stop thinking about him, so we took
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 03
    the kitten in. My boyfriend lived alone in his parent's house for most of the time so he didn't see a problem. When his mom met the kitten she fell in love with him.
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 04
    The cat has gotten a bit bigger but for being almost a year is still small. My boyfriend already had a cat he found outside, who is let outside whenever he wants. He's not my cat, so my concerns don't matter. I just don't want the cats outside. Then his mom decided to retire and move into the house, bringing their two other cats.
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 05
    Now there are 4. While one of the two and my boyfriend's cat are used to being outside and go outside frequently, I do not want my cat outside. I would feel safer if he had an AirTag on, or some kind of tracking device, whatever. But I do not really want him outside.
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 06
    I don't think I ask for much. I didn't intend for him to stay with them, I pay all his vet bills and sometimes even the other cats bills, however they do feed him and keep him there. I always thank them and tell them how much I appreciate them keeping him and how I would never ask them to do this again and that I did think they were going to say no to keeping him and fostering
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 07
    him out. However, I have been getting messages frequently about my cat being let outside intentionally or "by accident". I would like to think I do not ask for much, but texting me in the middle of my work day saying you can't find my cat or sending a picture OF HIM OUTSIDE... not really the greatest feeling.
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 08
    I only have one simple request and that is that he does not go outside. If they asked me to pay for his food, I would. If they asked me to me to give them money for keeping him in their home, I would. But in return I do not want him OUTSIDE. A simple request.
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 09
    Something that does not take a genius to do. You dont just open a door wide open to exit briefly. And you dont just open the door just because while he is sitting there waiting for the door to ☐ open. I understand, an accident can happen and they can get out. I can understand that. But letting him out intentionally or "on accident", I don't understand how my one request is so I hard to fulfill.
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10505681408
    via By ChristiLaLiberte / Canva

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    So, am I the a h le for wanting this boundary set and not wanting my cat outside?
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 12
    Edit: I want to have this conversation with his mother again, but I already have, and I am going unheard. So I guess the real title should be am I the a hole for being mad at this and wanting to put my foot down and have a serious discussion with his mother?
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 13
    Edit 2: I'm low-key baffled by people telling me he "isn't my cat". When my boyfriend's mother isn't around, which is often because she loves going out an about, I come over and feed them, all 4 of them. I even take them to the vet myself, the ones that aren't even mine and are technically theirs. And my boyfriend forgets to feed them
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 14
    often, so even when he is there or isn't there, I come over, feed them, play with them and cuddle, do a headcount, walk around outside looking for the adventurous ones, and only leave when I know they all have been taken care of. Not to mention I bought all 4 of them collars, identification tags with all three
    via u/buhbugboo
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    Cheezburger Image 10505675776
    via By Lucy_Ost

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    of our numbers on them, multiple toys, bowls, and even tracking devices before I got my own cat. So I don't think you really understand that he is my cat, as I said in the title. Thanks.
    via u/buhbugboo
  • 17
    anysizesucklingpigs YTA only because you're trying to dictate how your BF and BF's mom care for their own animals in their own house. The cat doesn't live with you and you don't take care of him. He's not your cat.
    via u/anysizesucklingpigs
  • 18
    If you want to make the decisions about how the cat is cared for then take him home.
    via u/anysizesucklingpigs
  • 19
    KaiTheGSD NTA. It's only a matter of time before your cat gets let out and doesn't come back at all.
    via u/KaiTheGSD
  • 20
    Old-Routine4 I feel like you have no idea how difficult that would be to keep one cat inside while the other 3 are let outside.
    via u/Old-Routine4
  • 21
    SukaidoragonTom... NTA. Cats, a domesticated species, do not belong outside. They're detrimental to the natural ecosystem due to being apex predators that hunt for sport.
    via u/SukaidoragonTomura
  • 22
    Industry_Cat NTA I am strongly team, cats do not belong outside. It isn't safe for the cat, it isn't safe for the local wildlife. The amount of unhealthy situations outdoor cats are exposed to is far too much.
    via u/Industry_Cat
  • 23
    BUT, this cat does not live with you. Is there any plan for this cat to live with you? Because aside from vet bills, the cat isn't really yours. It does not live with you, you do not feed it, you do not do its usual upkeep that comes with living in the same space as a pet. It is hard to put down rules for a cat that other people are caring for on your behalf if it is a permanent arrangement.
    via u/Industry_Cat
  • 24
    throwwwwwwalk NTA. Cats don't belong outside. It cuts their lifespan in half, and they decimate local songbird populations.
    via u/throwwwwwwalk

  • Indoor cats = happy cats + fewer heart attacks! No surprise squirrel chases, no midnight meowstery tours. Just cozy naps, snack patrol, and full-time purring. Keep those toe beans safe inside. 

  • 25
    Alternative-Numb... NTA, but you need to not have your cat living with them in that case.
    via u/Alternative-Number34

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family drama pets fight family feud advice argument family Cats rescue
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